It certainly isn't that my parents are bad people. They are warm, generous, funny people!! The trouble is that when you visit the people who are most invested in your health and happiness, you feel the lack of health and mobility that much more. I am an adult and have read enough to know that this is all my problem. I know that it is something that I am inventing in my silly little brain. I must be a thought genius!! It seems so real. so crippling, so terrifying.

However, I'm feeling better already. When you turn your vision on an issue and examine it as if it were happening to someone else, you gain a clearer vision of it.  It's like turning a flashlight on to look for monstors under your bed. Poof! They disappear (or at least turn into dust bunnies)! Horrors become nuisances. Nightmares become jokes. My life, that seems tragic, turns into fodder for a vaudeville act!!

Laugh often!

Jodi

The yin and yang of human interaction in the 21st century. I think it's grand! I can talk to my parents face to face even when they're hundreds of miles away. Rather incredible! Still, keeping up with what I should seems like a puzzle to me. Statuses to update, things to tweet, checking in places I go... My God! I am a social butterfly even when I'm alone!!

I'm going to do something rather incredible now. I'm leaving the computer and doing laundry.

Happily a bit of a Luddite,

Jodi

It's cool to live now!! There is a small problem in so much information constantly available, however. If you're looking for, say, the best place to vacation in March you have an immeasurable number of choices available to you. You learn of places you never thought of going before. You also learn of places you've never even heard of before.

This same problem occurs when you are looking for the best actions to take regarding your health. Which diet to follow? What drug to take? How should I exercise? Cardio or strength training? Supplements? Which ones? Low fat or low carb? Animal fats or not? What is the best way to meditate?

Finally, you must ask how much it will cost!!

Sometimes, I think that this is all a great adventure, and sometimes, overwhelming! The greatest adventure is sorting the whole mess out!!

I'll think about that tomorrow!!

Good night!

Jodi

Still , I'm seriously in favor of choosing moods. We can't always choose circumstance, but we can choose our reactions to them. OK, I hope I'm not like a dose of ipecac and all of you lovely people are holding on to your breakfasts. Sorry for the weirdness, but March is in the wind and it has an effect on me.

Back to choosing moods. MS has been a valuable, if punitive, teacher for me. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself when a lost ability is missed, but I HATE feeling like a victim!! I refuse. I often search for laughter, even if all I can muster is a smirk. Sometimes I allow myself to wallow in a big pile of whatever, but only for a spell.

Soon I reach for a slightly better emotion. It's not always pretty. Sometimes you are depressed or despondant, and all you can do is get mad, but it's better than depressed. Steven Wright says it beautifully when he says, "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."

Give me enthusiasm.

Seek the sunshine,

Jodi   

Doing things that seem relatively productive, yet really offer meager measurable results is a great talent of mine. Not really a great talent in the sense of being useful or lucrative, but rather in being grandly unique. I wish I could monetize being odd. This woman has come close.  http://bit.ly/y0TV8n

Well, on to figure out more sensible ways to make money than being odd.

Please show some love and comment here (on Squarespace).

Thanks and Peace out!

Jodi

That gave me something interesting to ponder. When we feel sad or overwhelmed, if we can just find anything that we do that we are good at, we immediately feel stronger.

OK, before you point out that it has been said before, proven before, or you show me a study about endorphins being released, I know. I've read things of that nature and it's exciting!! It's easy to forget when things get difficult.

What occurred to me today, is that there is a great difference between knowing something and KNOWING it. Having one experience of remembering feelings and regaining confidence in something you felt you had lost, is like finding a long lost best friend. You just pick up where you left off.

Good night,
Jodi

Sweet dreams, all!!

Jodi

I found the  site to be interesting as well.

Today's greatest discovery was revelri.com.  It has a myriad of options to boost one's spirits. You can perform the daily suggested action, express gratitude, set an intention, or request/hear requests for healing. All of these activities may be done privately or publicly. (To ensure your activity is private, don't link your account to Facebook) Best of all, it's free!

Check it out! I hope you enjoy it!

Jodi

One challenging thing when dealing with a disabling chronic illness, is being surprised by regular tasks that are suddenly difficult. Mundane, everyday tasks suddenly become feats which require concentration, or assistance. Standing, for example, was just what you did when you were tired of sitting or lying down. I can still stand, but not without a little help with balance, and I dare not close my eyes! Ah, the things you don't think about when you don't have to!!

Another more challenging thing is bathing. I haven't taken a bath in well over a year. Don't get me wrong – I still bathe, (you knew that, right?) but showers are a better alternative. So, showering without standing and closing one's eyes is a challenge, right? True. But it has turned me on to a fantastic, spa-like experience!! I am in love with my shower chair. With the assistance of an attachable hand bar and a hand-held shower head, It's like a day at the spa!! (really, I don't take hour long showers, but it takes some discipine!)

I sometimes say, that before I was born I wanted a life of physical challenge and heroics! (Maybe I should have been more specific?) In all honesty, there is something both sobering and wonderful about having to figure out how to do things again. I could – and, believe me I have – thrown myself a pity-party over some lost ability, but those parties are not fun and I don't stay there long!!

Onward,

Jodi

This is how it went down. If it could be forgotten, I forgot it at least once. If I could walk into a room without remembering why, I did. Oh, Jeez! The list could go on and on, but my attention span has curtailed it. I'm sort of like a three year old after gobbling up a huge pile of cotton candy. Too wound up to accomplish anything, including a nap. 

Well, I really must have needed to release that verbally. I feel much better! Really, aside from being a bit frustrated with myself, It was a good day. Once I located the pertinent contents of my purse, I completed my errands, including grocery shopping.

Grocery shopping has become one of the nicest things about dealing with MS. The condition and the accompanying disability has forced me to slow down and simplify my life. I can no longer flee that which causes me discomfort, so I nestle into it and investigate it. Grocery shopping used to be just a necessity so I would have the energy to do the mountains of busy nonsense I filled my life with. Now it is an opportunity to enjoy meeting others, including the outstanding staff at my new favorite grocery, Hyde Park Remke/bigg's

http://www.remkes.com/Shop/WeeklyAd.aspx

 I really appreciate the employees at the store. They seem to genuinely enjoy working together! Not a feeling you get everywhere. They are very helpful and kind. Another advantage in my situation is that I have a much greater appreciation for kindness and I have an easier time expressing it. I joke about it, but I think I have "crip creds!"

Beyond the grocery store, I feel closer to my friends and family. Little, niggling stuff has become microscopic, and even the big stuff has become less significant. Slipping into apathy? Maybe. It's probably a phase I'm going through.

Anyways, you can either appreciate what you have, warts and all, or bitch about it.

It's a choice.

Cya,

Jodi